My Dad

I lost my beloved Dad eight weeks ago. On the 25th of May he died peacefully and suddenly in his sleep after a drawn out battle in hospital. Just when we thought he was getting better, we lost him.

I've been wanting to come back to blog since then but I need to mark his passing here before I do... though I'm not sure I have the words... how do you honour a life in just one post?

Those of you who have lost a parent or close family member will know the unfillable hole they leave. It seems impossible that he isn't still here with us. I think about him all the time and every little thing reminds me of him. Which is lovely, but bittersweet.

I was lucky that I got to spend time with Dad before he died. I got time to tell him how much I loved him. That has helped. One thing I talked to him about was how he had passed on to me his love of making, and what a precious gift that has been.

We are similar my Dad and I, we love making things. My earliest memories are of Dad building furniture for our house in Canberra, making a tree house for us and building a barbecue pit in the garden, planting petunias and making a fireplace!

Dad loved to make, he loved to garden, he loved art and sculpture, he painted, he cooked, he bottled jam, he fished, he loved travel and nature, wine and food, he loved words and politics, he loved family and history and restaurants, he loved stories and laughing... and he loved us.

We held a Memorial for Dad the week after he died. We held it in a most beautiful hall, set among the trees in Bangalow, northern NSW. All his friends and family came together to celebrate his life and lots of wonderful people stood up and gave beautiful, funny, sad speeches. We showed hundreds of slides taken from all our family albums, and played his favourite music. He would have loved it.

The speeches were about his wonderful life, his sense of humour, his career achievements, his making and his generosity. My Dad loved knowledge, and he loved making things from scratch. I'm so much like him in that way and so this blog is a record of that legacy. Thanks Dad.

You can read more about my Dad in this obituary in the Sydney Morning Herald written by his old mate Mungo MacCallum.

april showers

For the last week Sydney has been in the grip of crazy wet and windy weather which extends up and down the coast for miles. Its left damage and destruction in its wake, though we were lucky to be spared any damage here. p.s. I started writing this post before Saturday's crazytown hailstorm which blew up out of the most beautiful sunny autumn day. Its been wild!

Its also made me feel even more blessed that on our getaway to Jervis Bay we lucked such lovely autumn weather. Somehow we slotted our week in between a wet Easter and the following drenching windy two day storm and afternoon hailstorm.

In contrast on our time away It was warm enough to swim and we only had one wet and windy day.

Its a tradition to spend time at our favourite little 70s decor beach house each year, and a tradition to post my photos from our time down south here on the blog. Here are some previous trips to our magic beach. here, here, here and here.

It is also one of the lovely things about having older kids, making these family traditions which live in their imaginations. They love this place and it is layered with memories for them and for their father and I, who can remember walking this bush track with a double stroller!

Luckily my camera was fixed just in time to take it along. This place is so photogenic it would literally be torture for me without it!

holiday pics

Before I get back to my year I wanted to post some of my favourite photos from our holidays. Very late I know but I always like to record this time on my blog, so please indulge me :-)

Time away with family and friends, lots of both, is part of our annual recharge. Its exhausting taking the Christmas show on the road, but once the wrapping paper settles, I'm never sorry we did it. And returning and repacking for camping is a chore. We're used to it now though and find the camping is when we really relax. Lots of swimming and beaching, walks and drinks and late nights around the gas lanterns are just what the doctor ordered.

And after all that home always looks pretty good. It was most exciting this year because we got to come home to our completed renovation without the builders who had transformed our house over four months.

We are still settling in and there has been a lot of painting but I hope to share some of it soon.

kind

I was away last week. My mum was in hospital and I flew up north to look after her.

I spent the week keeping her company, visiting my Dad and looking after the house and the dog. She's out now and on the mend we hope and my brother is there to help her transition home. My sister was there too, last month, I love my family.

I had lots of time to think last week, at home alone each night and on the long drive to and from the hospital.

And I found myself thinking a lot about kindness and community and generosity.

I was going to write an essay here about good people and how they restore your faith in humanity but I think I'll just say this small something: My mum is really well loved in her community. She is kind, thoughtful, funny, clever and in return she attracts really kind and lovely people.

And in these bad news days I was reminded about how wonderful people can be. Friends came out in force to offer help and support to our little family, my gang helped let me take the time I needed, and she was surrounded in hospital by kind nurses, doctors, cleaners and orderlies doing their job with a smile.

I think most people are good. Not all of them and not all the time, but lots of people are doing good every day, watching out for others and giving without thought of receiving in return.

I strongly believe this sort of giving is its own reward and I believe in a sort of karma. I try to keep an eye out for my neighbours, my community, my family and in return they reward me with love and care a thousand times over. I know they have my back.

You guys are my community too and I love the way the online world works in that same way. I love that social media like blogs and instagram can enhance our feeling of community so it spreads out even further and we are all a bit closer to each other's lives, most times for the better.

And that's what I was thinking as I drove to and fro.

lately

And here we are steaming through February! I was saying to someone the other day, it sort of feels like I've stepped on to a spinning merry go round this year. What about you? What with all the work to catch up on after our long slow holiday, the new terms, music and sports starting for the kids, and all those other distractions that go with the start of a year. Embarassingly on my last two visits to the library I have managed to leave my card behind. I blame my overloaded brain!

I've managed to squeeze in some creative pursuits though which help keep me sane. There's been quilt binding, a bit more cheesemaking, and I've also started another Ceramics course.

For quite a while I've wanted to have a go at making with clay, and the four week ceramics course I did before Christmas only strengthened that idea.

This year I'm at Pine Street Creative space in Chippendale for a nine week course. One night a week I jump on a bus and head in for some time on the pottery wheel. I find it really helps to clear the cobwebs. However tired or stressed I am, I end up thinking only about keeping that lump of clay on the wheel and how to turn it into something beautiful. Without fail I walk out calm and destressed. Making as mediation, it works for me!

It also helps that I know Mr F has a dinner and a glass of wine waiting when I get home at 9.30!

I've also been trying to do some morning yoga in place of my daily walk to school now the kids are leaving earlier to catch the bus. There are some great quick yoga workouts on youtube (oh how I love you youtube!) and I've been doing these ten minute Yoga Solution videos followed with Salute to the Sun every week day and some weekends (this is a good video if you want a refresher or don't know this great series of poses).

I've also been doing this crazy online meme called the plank challenge though I've modified it to suit me, there was no way I was going to progress to  2 minutes planking in 16 days! Currently I'm up to about a minute and as I get stronger I'm slowly increasing the time. I'm inclined to get lower back pain and core strengthening makes a big difference.

On Saturday night we had Miss A's long awaited sixteenth birthday party. If you haven't held a teenage party yet, its a little different from a toddler party, but not much, they just eat more and pickup is way later! Luckily the weather played nice as we'd set up the garden with lights and candles and balloons, couches, chairs and trugs of ice and drinks.

I remember being a bit worried the first time we held a party for bigger kids, but I shouldn't have been. A has the sweetest gang of girls and boys and it was just lovely, if exhausting, to have them all here. I like them and their parents a lot.

Luckily a great time was had by all, and a crowd of them stayed over and watched movies till late. A couple of brave parents dropped in for a chat, and apart from the food the kids were self sufficient. Hooray for no party games! I made waffles in the morning and Mr F cooked them bacon. Lucky things!

As you can see we set up the garden with couches and chairs and Mr F improvised a firepit with the salvaged inside drum of an old washing machine. Have you ever seen this done? We've been meaning to do it for ages as a friend of ours has one and it is the best thing.

baby quilt for Sid

We welcomed another baby to our extended family late last year. Precious little Sidney.

We've been dying to see him since he came, but sadly circumstances and distance have conspired against us!

Finally the other day his family were going to be camping an hour and a half's drive from us. By coincidence we were all going to be together with a free afternoon after the school presentation day on Friday, so we decided to take a roadtrip.

Little Sid rewarded us with beautiful baby smiles. Is there anything quite so precious as those infectious smiles a small baby gives so generously! Sid is as adorable as in his photos and twice as cuddly.

Around here another baby means another baby quilt. A new traditon I started for a new generation of babies. First came Poppy's quilt and then Penny's.

I was really pleased to finally pass on Sid's baby quilt. I like to think we are heading into quilt season now anyway!

I actually started this quilt top a while ago, playing around with all my different fabrics. I'm proud to say there are quite a few featured - 22 out of 35 squares in fact! There's my RickRack design in red and aqua, my marbles print in different colours and scales and my Bricks prints in large and small. Also here is my neglected but favourite Triangle Twist pattern which I keep meaning to print in different scales and colours.

I love how they look together! My bricks design has proven so popular since I introduced it and its always nice to sew with it myself.

As usual the binding put me off. I forget how easy it is and procrastinate until I'm forced to do it. I actually cheated and used self binding for the last two and if you don't know what that means check out my Baby Quilt tutorial. For this go round I found this video tutorial invaluable and used a 2.5 inch binding. I then followed this video for hand sewing it down.

Quilts aren't actually that difficult. Its just a fair bit of straight sewing and a bit of confidence! If you aren't a quilter (and I still don't consider myself a real quilter after four quilts!) and want to make a really simple gift like this check out my simple baby quilt tutorial. It has lots of photos and I've tried to include all the information a beginner would need to tackle a small quilt like this. And actually I always find the best way to learn is to start.

In a funny coincidence, on Friday just before I finally gifted this quilt to dear little Sid we had a call to tell us that another new baby is coming later this year! A lovely nudge to start planning the next quilt!

present

It was primary school presentation day yesterday. I was under strict instructions about how and when I could cry (only if other mothers cried and no sobbing!).

I managed to keep it to a few small tears of happiness for my lovely boys, I'm so proud of them.

I didn't do quite as well at the big girl's presentation the day before. I was fine when she received an award but when her music class performed their cute version of Bohemian Rhapsody and the principal lavished praise on this wonderful year group who are moving campuses for years 11 and 12, I had to get the tissues out!

It feels like time for the move from primary school, but we have had so many wonderful years in this warm and generous community it will be sad to leave. This place has been a home away from home for our family for eleven years and those little everydays build up to something really deep and important in our lives.

My three kids all had the same wonderful Kindy teacher and she showed me a card yesterday she's saved since the boys were in kindy, illustrated with their pictures. How lovely is that! Teachers are so important. They can be such great role models and help kids to grow their minds in so many ways. Thank you teachers.

At the end of this week we get in the car for our annual trip north for Christmas with my family. I can't wait. It seems to have been coming for a while. Its been a long and emotional end to the year this year, what with all the farewells and orientations, the last times and first times as all three of my kids change schools.

I'm looking forward to stopping and staring at the horizon, preferably with a cold drink in hand and a book on my lap!

I'm looking forward to salt on my skin and the smell of sunscreen on my clothes, long lazy lunches and afternoon naps. I'm looking forward to squeezing the family members I haven't seen all year and telling them about my days.

There will be posts I'm sure, and I will see you on instagram too. But real blogging will be on holiday for a while, recharging for a big year next year.

I am inspired already by 2014. Its going to be different in many ways, and I'm hoping good different. How about you? Are you ready to stop already! Do you have plans for next year, are things changing at your house?

p.s. it was my birthday last week and the photos show some of my pressies, there was a flying visit from my brother for his gallery's exhibition opening at the AGNSW, a real old phone from the mister, new clothes, new creams and a lovely xmas surprise from Cam.